我不是环保分子 I am not an Environmentalist

《辣手杂志》第一篇专栏

谢谢大家打开小妹在《辣手杂志》的第一篇文章。读者们进入这篇文章，很可能是因为这个标题，也很可能是因为我的名字。

无论如何，我肯定不是文坛红人，只是喜欢写写文章，凑凑热闹，分享感受。这一次，要感谢辣手主编给我这个空间。

最近加入一个与环境有关的工作。在针对无线上网新科技的安全课题上，与一位交往多年的朋友闹意见，争论未开始，他便狠狠抛下一句话：我以为你是环保分子。

我愣了好久。

身边很多朋友把我当成环保分子，我想了想，或许是由于以下原因：

（1） 当我还是小朋友时，我常在百货广场里问爸爸妈妈：卖不完的食物、衣服都被丢去哪里？垃圾场有那么大吗？

（2） 中学时代，我看了一则断翅鲨鱼被抛入大海中可怜楚楚地等死的照片后，便开始不吃鱼翅。很幸运地，一些损友在婚宴上不点鱼翅。

（3） 两次上大学时修的是社会科学类，但老是往理工学院的环境选修课堂里钻。

（4） 有了一点知识、一点醒觉，我开始关心、开始写文章。后来还和朋友创办了一个保育海马的组织。

（5） 在吉隆坡工作时，我在小小办公室推行垃圾分类活动。

（6） 我常常叫同事们把冷气温度维持在24-26度之间，在马来西亚穿着寒衣上班，对我而言是不可思议的。

（7） 由于肯德基对待鸡只的不良记录，我两年没有踏入他们的店面。

（8） … …

还有很多很多，再写下去，读者就要睡了。其实，我只想使用自己的方式，来抗议现实经济模式、发展状态的不完美。我何德何能，竟变成环保分子？

不过，这么多年来，我的确把一些行为、想法内化成本身的生活习惯。我凭自己有限的知识、对生活的直觉，选择一些我认为自己可以对社会环境好一点的生活方式。

若称我为“环保分子”是很可悲的，这意味着很多人“还不是”，因此把我的所作所为看成“某一种人”的行为。我常常会反问：你还要生小孩吧？那环保就不是我一个人的事啦！你其实可以改变自己的生活习惯，大家的小改变，一定会成就一些伟大的变革。

然而，我绝不是环保分子，我有一些习惯戒不了，我身处的社会也没有完善的社会制度让我从容地做选择。当我举例后，你们就会同意了：
（1） 我还是开车一族。汽车是全球气候暖化的“最得力助手”。但是，我常幻想自己骑脚车、搭巴士去上班。

（2） 我有时还是忘了自备购物袋去shopping，然后抱一堆五颜六色的塑料袋回家。

（3） 我喜欢自助旅行。所谓的“背包行者”常常制造垃圾而不自觉，比如：矿泉水瓶、包装食物。

（4） 我喜欢购买书本、衣服及翻版光碟。这些东西都是我死后带不走、必须处理的垃圾。当然，希望再循环运动能够修成正果，那么，我们就不用每天对焚化炉心痒痒。

看到吧？还要说我是环保分子吗？我只是很努力地在一些事物上保持高度省慎，尽量为了不让自己太内疚而做一点事。比起砂劳越那些丧失家园、甚至整个族群文化被连根拨起的比南人所做的斗争，我真的什么都不是。

我并不乐观。因为，科学家说，就算这一刻，巫婆把全世界人类一起变成“睡美人、睡王子”，立刻停止碳排放，现有的气候暖化现象，还会继续困扰人类生活长达100年！

到了这种地步，如果大家不愿坐以待毙，那么，让我们互相勉力，一起关心、一起努力吧！

Translation:

Thank you for dropping by. This is my first column for www.laksou.com. If you clicked through to this article, either you were attracted by the title or the name of the author.

No matter the reason, I am sure that I am not that famous or popular. I’m just a citizen who likes to write and share my thoughts, and I’d like to thank the editor for giving me a platform to voice my opinions.

Recently, I was assigned to an environment-related job. I hold a different view from a friend who is against the Wireless City Project, and he has often expressed his safety concerns about it. When I told him I have no strong objections against it, he threw out the following accusation: “I thought you are environmentally conscious.”

I was stunned into silence.

Indeed, a lot of my friends see me as an environmentalist. I can see why they might:

（1） When I was just a little girl, in a shopping centre I asked my parents:,“Where are they going to throw the food and clothes if they cannot sell them off? Is our land big enough for all that rubbish?”

（2） During high school, I felt pity for the some sharks that I saw in some photos, who were dying as their fins had been but off for food, and who were thereafter dumped back in to the sea to slowly die. Since that day, I stopped eating shark fins. Some of my friends who support my cause did not order shark fins for their wedding in solidarity.

（3） Although I majored in social sciences, when I pursued my higher education degree I always sought to take options related to the environment in the Faculty of Science and Technology.

（4） After gaining a bit more knowledge, I began to become aware of what was happening; I began to express my concerns through my writing. I even set up a team to do seahorse conservation.

（5） I promoted recycling in my KL office.

（6） I always ask my colleagues who turn on their air-con to keep the temperature in between 24-26 degree. Wearing winter clothing at work in Malaysia seems ridiculous.

（7） Due to KCF’s bad record of mistreatment of the chickens from which their product is made I boycotted them for two years.

（8） … …

There are plenty more stories I can tell, but they are beside the point. The fact is, all I am trying to do is protest against an imperfect situation created by the current economic model’s method of development in my own way. I never thought of myself as an environmentalist.

Nevertheless, in the past, some of my thoughts and living habits have actually been internalized in my way of life. I live in a way that I think would be good for our environment.

It is lamentable that people feel the need to label me an environmentalist. To a lot of people I am still the “some people” they may refer to when referring to environmentally practices as through it doesn’t relate to them,

To people like these I always ask: “Do you want children? Then being environmentally friendly is also your business! Everyone can change their living habits, and little changes can bring about a revolution. It is for your own children’s good!”

Definitely, I am not an environmentalist because I cannot stop some of my destructive habits. I am unable to make choice without fear in my society. For instance,

(1) I drive a car. Cars are the biggest contributor to climate change. I always dream of going to work by cycling or taking the bus, but have never done so.

(2) Sometimes I forget to bring my shopping bag, and then I am forced to bring back a pile of colourful plastic bags with me.

(3) I like to travel as a backpacker. “Backpackers” are rubbish generators - most of the time we consume water in disposable bottles and eat packaged food.

(4) I like to own books, clothes and CDs. I know that I can’t take them with me once I leave this world, when they will then become rubbish. Of course, I pray that recycling campaigns will be very successful one day, so that our government will never need to consider using an incinerator.

Now do you see? Do you still wish to label me an environmentalist? I am just trying hard to keep myself alert to certain issues, doing something so that I won’t feel guilty towards Mother Nature. Compared to the Penan community who are struggling over their homeland and their unique culture in Sarawak, I am nobody.

Neither am I an optimist. Some scientists contend that even if were to ask a witch to cast her magic and make the whole world become sleeping princes and princesses, stopping carbon emissions immediately, the consequences of global warming will still affect mankind for one decade.

Are you just waiting for the worst situation? If not, then let us work together, show our concern, and make some efforts to protect this precious Earth of ours.

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